GO – Techniques

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Soma.

Opt for.

It is hard to feel well or happy when our body is not well. Achieving a minimum of physical wellness is often a prerequisite for psychological wellbeing and for any practice that enhances the experience of happiness. As such, it can be useful to start by defining for yourself what this wellness should be, if only in terms of physical comfort, energy and alertness. Try to define the minimal physical health that you must sustain for your health and wellbeing in general and your practice more specifically. This minimal state could then be conducive to happiness in any situation and stage of your practice.

One way of doing this is by creating an “envisioned state” of physical wellbeing. To do this, recall, imagine or envision a state vividly—with all its physical sensations of being well rested, having physical energy, feeling strong, agile and fit, etc. This envisioned state can then become a state to opt for. Spend time to do this and write out the “envisioned state” in as much details as possible as a reminder and a goal. Once this is done, achieving this conducive “envisioned state” usually depends on the use of the right type and amount of movement, alimentation, substance and sleep. The mnemonic MASS may be useful here, encompassing Movement, Alimentation, Substance and Sleep.

Here are some pointers on considering these to achieve a state of physical wellbeing:

• Movement means how and how much we move our body to make it and keep it flexible, strong and capable of activity. A desired state is usually achieved with some regular exercises, whichever would be most suitable and adapted to you.
• Alimentation is the amount and the type of food we eat. Maintaining a healthy balance is important. There are many guidelines and suggestions based on empirical knowledge that could be useful for you in maintaining that balance.
• Substance is what may be consumed as alcohol, caffeine, food supplements, etc. Again, the right balance of type and amount of substance is key. For some individuals, any amount may be harmful; for others, moderate amounts may be of no negative consequence. It is for you to figure out the balance that is right for you. Also, what are generally classified as “elicit” drugs of any type would generally not be of any benefit in your practice and would often be detrimental to it.
• Sleep. We often overlook the beneficial effect of sufficient and good sleep and the deleterious effect of lack of sleep on our physical and psychological wellbeing. Good sleep is essential for everyone, although the minimal amount of required sleep may vary from one person to another. It is up to you to figure out the amount of sleep that is right for you and to ensure that you get it.

After having considered these four parameters, go back to your “envisioned state” and sketch out a program in support of it with each of the MASS parameters. Make it as simple and gently achievable as possible. For example, it may consist of adding some exercise routines, modifying some of your alimentation, cutting down on some of your alcohol and/or caffeine consumption and adding more time to your sleep schedule. Start modestly and progress slowly and steadily.

Give up.

At the soma dimension, giving up often goes hand in hand with opting to do something else. Examples include trading less sleep for more sleep, being sedentary for moving and exercising, eating poorly for a healthy diet, etc. You have to stop doing what has not sustained you or what has undermined your physical wellbeing. However, focusing only on attempting to not do something that opposes wellbeing usually does not work. It simply creates a lack and maintains the focus on what should not be done.

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Emotion.

Opt for.

At this dimension, similarly to soma, an effective exercise means to, at a minimum, achieve the experience of calm or joy in the Thoughtfulness exercise of Step 1. Once that is achieved, there are several techniques that you could use to elicit the emotion you have envisioned as conducive to happiness. These are some of these techniques, among others you could discover from sources other than this method:

• Recalling: this involves remembering a situation of any type during which you have felt the envisioned emotion. For example, recall an event during which you were joyful, peaceful, content, etc. and bring the emotion to the situation you are practicing for.
• Inducing: this means eliciting the emotion during practice with a piece of music that induces it in you. It can be done by listening to music or by humming the music silently in your head. Another way of inducing it is by looking at a picture or painting with which the emotion was previously associated.
• Visualizing: for some, producing an image in one’s mind can bring about emotions. The image can be of a past situation or an abstract figure that brings about the envisioned emotion. Drawing the image out could also be of help.
• Affirming: this consists of repeating the word that describes the emotion to the point of recalling or inducing it, for example, repeating “joy,” “peace,” “calm,” etc.

Give up.

Often, opting for the envisioned conducive and wanted emotion is sufficient to move away from the evidenced non-conducive and unwanted emotion. However, this is not always the case. The non-conducive, unwanted emotion may be hard to move away from. For instance, it may be hard to move away from emotions such as fear, anger or sadness even as you practice opting for joy, peace, etc. You might also experience a tendency to use opposing mechanisms to actively lessen or neutralise the non-conducive unwanted emotion by ignoring it, pushing it away or even directly fighting it. This approach usually does not bring about the intended result. Opposing a non-conducive emotion often puts attention on it and may even strengthen it; it does not result in giving it up. In such case, these techniques may be useful:

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Thought.

Opt for.

The main goal is to be able to exercise logic and rationality, perspective and objectivity, based on facts about self, others and the world in general. Often, the techniques to arrive at this capability are the capability themselves. For example, to be able to think logically often means practicing being logical. Nevertheless, the following can be useful techniques:

• Factfinding. Exercising logic, rationality, perspective and objectivity is particularly useful and effective when it is applied on solid facts about self, others and the world in general. Exercising the same on absent or erroneous information is often limited, useless or even harmful. Thus, sound factfinding is an essential tool to master for any practice and to address any situation in a manner that is conducive to happiness. You should gather as many facts as possible about yourself, others, specific situations, the world in general, etc. We have already been using tools to arrive at factfinding, for example using several dimensions to know oneself or several aspects to know our world. Factfinding often needs to be extended to the specific aspects of a situation, whether the facts are about a person, a thing, an issue or a problem. Gathering information, as precise as it can be, and noting it down without judgment or premature conclusions is essential. Once you think that the factfinding has been sufficient, then the information gathered can be analysed, and conclusions may be derived from it more reliably and in a way that can be conducive to happiness. Factfinding is especially effective when carried out with calm and peaceful emotions.
• Analysis. This is a process by which complex subjects or topics are split into smaller fragments in order to get a better understanding of them. This technique has been used since antiquity. It is very useful in the process of getting to know the self, others or any subject or situation and in arriving at conclusions that are as sound as possible. Some examples of fragments may be the elements, dimensions and aspects suggested for the definition of happiness and knowing oneself and the world, respectively, within this practice. Once solid and complete information is gathered from all of these fragments, a comprehensive and useful picture can be formed. Like factfinding, analysis is most useful when done while experiencing calm and peaceful emotions.
• Objectivity. This involves being able to approach facts and analyse them in a way that is as unbiased as possible. There are many methods for doing this that originate from antiquity and that have been borrowed and refined by many schools of philosophy and psychology. Any of these can be useful in learning the technique of objective analysis. Implementing that technique can go hand in hand with giving up biases, as explained in the “Give up” section below.
• Positivity. It can be useful to examine one’s thinking style or problem-solving style to determine whether it is optimistic, positive, hopeful, constructive and determined. This can be ascertained with various evaluation tools developed by psychologists. Consequently, there are techniques that can be useful in developing or enhancing one’s ability to think and problem-solve with more positivity, in a manner more conducive to happiness.
• Imagery. This denotes the ability to create mental images of people, things, places and situations. Those images may consist of vivid and quasi-real representations of symbols and abstract images. For many, images can have an important role, akin to thoughts and words, in reasoning and problem solving. Therefore, images can be useful in reflecting on and working out situations in a manner that is more conducive to happiness. Many techniques exist for the development of one’s capacity to produce imagery or visualization in one’s mind by drawing out images on paper and using them for various applications like situation analysis or problem solving. Acquiring skills in imagery and visualization can enhance your capacity to analyse and solve problems more objectively

Give up.

As described above, to give up is the quasi-opposite of to opt for. That means giving up not doing proper fact-finding, not being able or neglecting to do a sound analysis of facts, being biased and thinking negatively. It also means giving up imagery that prevents sound problem or situation-solving. As with the dimension of emotion, opting for solid factfinding, analysis and positive problem-solving is often sufficient to move away from unwanted thinking and imagery. To more specifically give up some types of thinking that may not be conducive to happiness, some of the techniques below may be useful:

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Doing.

Opt for.

Doing pertains to the demeanor, actions, behaviors and speech that we display. Depending on what you have envisioned, the technique could be as simple as dressing differently, speaking differently, being more or less active, being more assertive or attentive, talking more or less, being more polite, courteous or kind, etc. The aim is to envision the types of behavior conducive to happiness, in fairly specific detail according to the situation. When this is done, some techniques can be useful to opt for and enact the behavior you have envisioned.

• Modeling. It can be easier to opt for an envisioned behavior when you can observe it in other people and emulate or copy it for yourself in a manner that suits your personality. Think about people who behave in a way that inspires you. These people may be a part of your life, or you may be able to read about them or see them on various media. These model behaviors can be very useful in defining those behaviors that you would choose, rehearse and enact appropriately in the situation.
• Imagining and visualizing. Imagining a behavior that is conducive to happiness, in a specific situation, can be useful, especially if this is done in detail for all the dimensions, considering everything that it might look and feel like. Doing this using descriptions with words or vivid images can be very effective as you anticipate a situation or reflect upon a past situation. The imagined or visualized behavior can also be used to rehearse ahead of a situation.
• Proceeding progressively and gently. Some behaviors that are more conducive to happiness are characterized by courage, assertiveness, confidence, etc. These qualities may be needed in situations that are difficult, conflictual of challenging. However, fear and anxiety can often prevent these behaviors from being expressed. One way of giving up such fears and anxieties is to practice expressing these behaviors that are more conducive to happiness progressively and in a gradual manner, in situations that range from the least to the most difficult. With such practice at a gentle pace, these behaviors can eventually be expressed fully with relative ease. Some methods developed by psychologists, such as progressive exposure can be used for such practice.
• Extending. Once you are comfortable expressing behaviors that are conducive to happiness in some specific difficult situations, you can then continue to strive to express such behaviors in situations that are increasingly challenging. This is analogous to acquiring an attitude of courage, assertiveness, confidence, etc. to seek out and approach situations that would have been typically avoided. Instead of avoiding, you may be able to gradually approach more and more of these situations and extend the conducive behavior to them—all done gently and in a gradual pace and intensity. This way, with time, you will be able to practice in more and more situations behaviors that may be more conducive to happiness and that may require courage, assertiveness, confidence, etc.

Give up.

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Mechanisms.

Opt for.

For any situation you would be working on, you would have already envisioned the dimensions that are conducive to happiness and that you want to experience because they are aligned with the elements of your definition of happiness. Thus, the main mechanisms to opt for are those that support these dimensions and that help to practice them. A simple way to proceed is to choose one or more such supporting mechanisms from the list of words in the Appendix “Supporting Mechanisms” and to use it or them for practice. Several mechanisms that are conducive to happiness are, however, worth highlighting. They are very powerful and always available to us:

• Choosing. Whenever, wherever and for whatever, we always have choice to experience what is most conducive to happiness. We can choose to feel, think and act differently, to conceptualize and view oaurselves or others differently, to be selfreliant rather than depend on others, etc. The mechanisms of choosing is always available to us and is very powerful. It can be used to make the actual choice, to declare it, “I choose to think or feel this way…,” to affirm the choice, to visualize it, etc.
• Deciding. Related to choosing is the mechanism of deciding. Just like we have the ability to choose, we also always have available to us the capacity to decide for or against something. This power is in us. We can decide to feel, think and act in a way that is conducive to happiness. At the same time, we can decide to avoid feeling, thinking or acting in a manner that is non-conducive to happiness. Again, deciding can be used by declaring, “I decide to think or feel or behave that way.”
• Anchoring. This mechanism represents the act of gaining stability or confidence by holding on to or putting an anchor to emotions, thinking, notions, attributes or ethic within yourself that are conducive to happiness. You can, for instance, anchor yourself to calm, rationality or to any other principle or purpose within yourself, in any situation, however uncertain or conflictual. In that way, you will be applying intrinsicness and nurturing a connection to yourself and to your definition of happiness in order to facilitate stability and constancy in situations.

Give up.

In order to give up a mechanism that opposes your attributes, ethic, values or any experience that may be non-conducive to happiness, it is essential to first identify it. You might find the list of “Opposing Mechanisms” in the Appendix useful for recognizing the mechanism or mechanisms you may be using and for learning more about it or them. Once this is done, you will be able to choose a supporting mechanism instead, in as gentle a process as possible. Here, too, there are some mechanisms that may be useful:

• Correcting. It is sometimes difficult to realise and admit that we have been choosing to feel, think or act wrongly or have been choosing purposes and ethic that are not conducive to happiness or that are opposed our attributes. It is therefore helpful to consider these misguided choices or the use of opposing mechanisms as errors or mistakes that can generally be corrected. Thus, correcting, which is simply making right or rectifying, is often a very useful mechanism. Errors are often made and can be corrected in a gentle manner.
• Forgiving. Sometimes the wrong choice of emotions, thoughts, actions, purposes or ethic, or opposition to our attributes, etc., can result in anger, shame, resentment, guilt and even expectations of punishment. It can thus be helpful to learn the practice of forgiveness, which can be viewed as a correction for having made a mistake but with the additional benefit of letting go of the anger, shame, resentment, guilt and expectation of punishment. Forgiving can be practiced toward oneself for having chosen wrongly against our own self. It can also be seen as redefining the wrong choice, even if it had strong psychological consequences, as a mistake or error to be corrected rather than be punished for. In this case, forgiveness is a correction, with accompanying attention to also letting go of the emotions that resulted from having made the wrong choice within ourselves.

The techniques here are fairly simple. They consist of remembering to bring to a situation PEACE elements or MINDSET dimensions that are envisioned to be conducive to happiness. This technique involves being in the Inside-Out rather than the Outside-In mode. More specifically, it means to act in a situation rather than to react to it. This would mean bringing conducive experiences to a situation rather than looking for them in the situation. To this end, there are some techniques for opting for and giving up that can be useful.

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Intrinsicness.

Opt for.

To be in the intrinsic (inside-out) mode means to bring resources from within you to a situation. Thus, you first have to recall what is available within for you to bring to the situation, namely your PEACE elements and any dimension that may be conducive to happiness. In doing so, these questions may be useful:

• “Which of my PEACE elements am I bringing to this situation?” You should be able to answer this question in general or, if necessary, to answer it element by element. For example, “What attributes of myself am I bringing to this situation?” or “What ethical values am I bringing to this situation?” or “What purposes am I bringing to this situation?
• “What dimensions am I bringing to this situation?” You should be able to answer this question generally or, if necessary, answer it one dimension at a time. For example, “What emotion am I bringing to this situation?” or “What thoughts am I bringing to this situation?” or “What actions am I bringing to this situation?”

Give up.

To be in extrinsic (outside-in) mode implies expecting to get experiences of happiness from a situation, rather than from within. In giving up such a mode, some questions may be useful:

• “Can my happiness really come from this situation?” or more specifically, element by element, “Do my attributes, my ethic, my purposes, etc. come form this situation or from within me?”
• Similarly, you can ask, “Do my emotions of joy or peace, my correct thinking, my correct actions, etc. come from within, or do they come from this situation?”
• Also, you can ask yourself, “Where does the control over my attributes, ethic, purposes, etc. or over my emotions, thinking, actions, etc. come from?” “Does it come from within me or from the situation?”
• Answering these questions could help you realize the disadvantage or even the fallacy of being in an extrinsic mode and lead you to giving it up.

As defined earlier, a notion is a concept or a belief about ourselves or our world. It is a representation of who we are or of what the world is that influences how we experience our life, situation by situation. We may be aware of notions and consciously lead our life by them or, very often, be unaware of them and be unconsciously led by them. You learned in Step 3 how to formulate notions by crafting sentences about yourself that may start with, “I am…,” “I have…,” “I am not…,” “I will be. . . when…,” sentences about others that may start with “She/he is…,” “She/he is not…” or other sentences about things, places, etc. that may start with “This is…,” “This is not….,” etc. You also learned in Step 5 how to use this approach to evidence notions you hold that are non-conducive to happiness or to envision notions you could hold that would be conducive to happiness. Once you have envisioned a notion that is conducive to happiness for a certain situation, there are techniques that may be useful to opt for it. Conversely, there are techniques that may be useful to give up notions that are non-conducive to happiness. These techniques are described below.

Let’s take a look at Opt for and Give up techniques for Notion.

Opt for.

A notion you have envisioned about yourself, others or the world in general can be opted for with several techniques that include

• Remembering. You may have envisioned a notion that would be conducive to happiness and experience it in specific situations. However, the notion may often be put away from your awareness or honestly forgotten. In such instances, a technique that may be useful is designing aids that may help you keep the notion in your awareness. Among these may be writing the notion down and referring back to it when you think you may have forgotten it, or programming an electronic device to remind you of the notion periodically, or some variant of these. This gives the notion presence, which can be useful.
• Affirming. This consists of repeating the notion affirmatively as a declaration as a commitment to live by it in the relevant situation. It can be done during the situation, silently in your mind, or ahead of it, silently or aloud, whenever is appropriate. This gives the notion not only presence but also strength whenever it can be useful.
• Visualizing. For some, a mental picture of the notion may give it more presence and strength. This can be done by formulation such a picture as a drawing made on paper or any useful medium or by crafting this picture in your mind. Just like a sentence, this picture can be used for remembering and affirming.
• Enacting. A powerful technique to experience a notion is to enact it or set it in action in specific situations. From the notion as a sentence or an image, one can express behaviors that would give the notion life. The notion may be enacted with all the characteristics of the dimension “doing:” how you dress, talk, move and interact with others. Ultimately, this gives the notion presence, strength and reality. Enactment can be done as a rehearsal, ahead of a situation, and eventually in the situation itself.

Give up.

Notions that you have evidenced as non-conducive to happiness for any given situation may be more easily given up by using techniques such as

• Acknowledging, observing and understanding. This involves supporting the nonconducive notion by letting it be and acknowledging it, then observing it by looking at its movement and flow without opposing or fighting it and finally, understanding its effects on other dimensions and permitting its eventual abating. This is the same technique as described for non-conducive emotions and thoughts.
• Reformulating. Notions that are non-conducive to happiness are often only incorrect and inappropriate representations of our self, of others or of things and places. One way to give them up is to redefine or reformulate them, and as such to correct them. For example, “I am weak and helpless…” can develop into “Sometimes, I am weak and helpless,” and then into “Sometimes, I am strong and resourceful” or “Sometimes, I feel weak and helpless although I can feel strong and resourceful.” This transformation can also be done with notions about others or the world.
• Remembering and redirecting. As for emotions or thoughts, as soon as one is aware of enacting a non-conducive notion, one can use this awareness as a reminder of the envisioned conducive notion that can be affirmed, visualized and enacted instead.